Why do I write a publized journal…a blog

I’ve been challenged on this question…especially today and I have many answers for why I choose to write my personal feelings and stories online for anyone to see; some you may understand, some you may not. I don’t necessarily need anyone’s approval but I feel the need to address this question. More so, I can’t stop thinking about this until I write it down…that’s what I do, I obsess until I have an outlet to let all of my thoughts and feelings go.

I blog about my life, my true story, nothing unfiltered, nothing exaggerated. I don’t write anyone else’s story. Yes other people are in my stories but they aren’t the main focus. I also choose not to use real names because I feel that is a fair way to blog when other people are in your story.

I have started to consider myself a writer, in a small form, I’m not the best at it, but I will also say I’m not horrible at it either. This is my outlet, this is what brings me joy. I have tried keeping a personal journal and tucking it away under my mattress like everyone else but it never lasts longer than a week. Plus, it makes me feel like I am hiding something and I’ve spent too many years of my life hiding too much about myself. Two reasons I don’t like journaling; I hate my handwriting and I can type faster than I can write. Typing my journal leads to a more complete picture of the situation I currently find myself in because I can get my ideas out faster. I bet you are thinking, “fine, type it, but why make it public?” Well, first refer to the previous statement about hiding, and because going through the past couple years has taught me a few things.

Most importantly, it’s very easy to feel alone even when your are surrounded by people who love you.

What I mean by this is that I never knew that so many of the people I had daily relationships with were going through similar struggles, until I took a leap of faith and opened up. People are so ashamed of talking about what they are going through. Maybe because they have a preconceived notion that they are supposed to be perfect, don’t want to be seen as weak, or are scared of being judged. Whatever the reason, it would have been nice to relate to someone. So I turned to online. I saw a small but very important post for me by another blogger that was going through something similar and I thought “how nice to be able to say what you want to say without feeling judged or less than”. I immediately followed her blog and read it religiously. I emailed her and said “thank you”. We didn’t go into details about our situation but just knowing someone else was going through it too was immensely helpful. If my blog can help someone else by reading about my small life, then awesome! If my blog makes someone laugh, even better!

I know people are still out there that don’t understand why this has to be public and that’s fine. We are all entitled to our opinions. I’m not going to stop writing. Human beings have a need to connect with other human beings. I’m not a great verbal communicator so I write, this is my communication. I don’t have anything to hide, I’m not ashamed of anything. I do keep certain things private but for the most part, I love my life and I’m excited to share it with whoever cares. (I understand there are consequences of that honesty sometimes, and it’s something I will have to deal with.) If you don’t like the content of the blog, then I ask that you don’t read it. I’m not forcing this blog on anyone. Just don’t read it. For those of you who do like, thank you for your support.

Lastly, I do want to become a writer. I can’t be a writer if no one reads what I write.

Ok, now I can relax and watch the Olympics.

Any other bloggers (or readers) have thoughts on this? I’m curious to see where other people stand and what made that decision for them. Comment below if you don’t mind.

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