A few years ago my good friend, Pudger, gave me some great advice when I talked to her about my previous relationship. While that didn’t really work out…I now see where the advice was coming from. She said “Just love him”. I thought I was doing that…. but I wasn’t. She knew what it meant because her relationship was/is a great one, so the advice made sense to her. It seemed like a feat and a half when I heard it at the time though. Now…it’s easy.
Just love him.
When I try really hard to think of something nice I can do for Mr. 72 it never really pans out….but when I go about my day and do a little something extra to show him I love him and care for him…it lands pretty well. I’m not a relationship expert in the slightest, just happen to be in a fabulous one. Here are some things I try to do or at least keep in mind.
- Leaving sticky notes around the house with compliments or encouragements. “I love you”, “I hope you have a great day”, “Can’t wait to see you later”, “Thanks for making me dinner last night”, anything will do.
- Text a cute picture of the two of us when I know he’s having a hard day and needs a reminder that something great is just a work day away.
- Getting 7Up, soup and meds when he doesn’t feel well
- Compliment him in person – “You look handsome” or “I”m so proud of you” ….little compliments go a long way
- Have inside jokes or phrases that only we understand, it takes us back to a really good or funny moment between the two of us
- Listen….really listen. I had to remind myself to put away my phone, look away from the TV or turn it off and really listen to what he was saying. I’m not the advice giving type of person, I’m not very good at it, but I will listen.
- Don’t play relationship games – you know the games we all have played, (don’t be too available, don’t call too much, etc) I hate that, I think it dimishes the relationship and adds a competitive factor into the relationship. Relationships are hard enough…don’t add more rules to make it harder. I try to be very honest with Mr. 72 (where I want the relationship to go, kids, beliefs, all of it). Don’t add stressors that don’t need to be there.
- Be late and get a longer kiss. Mas, mas besos.
- Get dressed – seems a little bit vain and superficial but I love seeing Mr. 72 dressed in some of my favs and he looks incredibly handsome (sometimes he goes against his own better judgment and grows out a beard for me or grows his hair a little longer…. because I like it). So I try to dress up a little or just look presentable. It feels really good to be out with your significant other and be so proud to be with them. It’s something easy you can do daily that will make the other person smile. (You can’t argue with me that it doesn’t feel better to be around your partner when they look good than if they were grungy…vain, maybe; truth, absolutely)
Being in a good relationship had made me see how to “just love” someone. I do, just like everyone else, have areas to improve on…such as my sarcasm or jokes that are funny in my head but then outloud…I realize, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m working on it. That is a goal of mine, to not say things that could be hurtful even if it was meant as a joke. It’s not nice and it doesn’t “love” the other person.
Any other ideas out there?