Every day I’m Sha Sha Fa Lin

My sister and I’s relationship has never been perfect but it has been better than it stands as of now…. it has definitely been a lot uglier too. Since deciding to get a divorce my sister has backed off. I’m not sure what the reason is and not sure I even want to know why. My divorce wasn’t a reflection of my relationship with her, nor was it because of something she said. I know divorce affects those around us even though they aren’t immediately involved so I get that there is going to be some healing time for those people as well. It’s been six months and we still aren’t even approaching how close we used to be.

I’m in a new relationship and I feel that she doesn’t want me to talk about it at all. She doesn’t ask questions and doesn’t add anything to the conversation when I bring him up. I already feel awkward talking about my life at all in the first place, so to bring it up and then not have any sort of reaction is strange. If the situation were reversed I would want to know what this guy was all about, how she felt about him, and where she thinks it is going. I do not feel like it is a reflection on Mr. 72 in the slightest because she was acting this way with me even before he came into the conversation. I know this relationship happened fast and that judgments can be made on the validity of it and that people feel like it will fizzle faster than it started. [I don’t agree with either of those fyi, but I can understand how those judgments could be made if it were a friend/family member of mine dating so quickly after leaving a marriage…or any relationship for that matter].

I thought we made progress last night; she invited me to go to a Zumba class with her. I was so excited to spend some time with her. After class I invited her over to have a glass of wine and hang out. (She was trying to avoid going home before the kiddos were put to bed…mom’s night off). I thought it was going to be a chance for her to ask questions or learn about my new life….nope. We, instead, talked about our usual subjects that get us through not talking about something we are avoiding: “This American Life”, bucket lists, crafts, exercise, new recipes, kid updates….

She did invite me to a taping of This American Life in May so hopefully things are looking up in our relationship. I invited her and the hubs to watch Mr. 72 play drums soon and she said she would come. I’m hoping once she gets to know him and sees us together that her fears of me getting hurt again will be relieved…if that is what she is worried about. I guess I could get the ballz to ask her what her problem is but…alas, no cajones aqui.


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