This topic was brought up this morning with my friend, PurpleD. Here are my thoughts:
My dad told me once that all relationships have baggage; you just have to be willing to carry the other person’s baggage. Baggage is not necessarily a bad thing; it could be kids, family, successes, failures, dreams, etc. He knew within a few weeks of meeting my mom that he would do that for her for the rest of their lives. He asked me that within a few weeks of dating Mr. 72 if I was willing to carry his baggage….without hesitation YES.
Most would consider that we both have been divorced with kids, baggage…and to an extent, I guess so, but it also adds to how much I love him. Sure it’s not a clean slate and we have to “date” a little different than “easier” relationships but I would rather be in the right relationship with baggage, than one that I was struggling to make it work. I see previous marriages and kids as a bonus for us. We know what we definitely want in a partner…and what we definitely do not. The kids add laughter and another side of communication in a relationship. There is no wondering if he will be a good dad, he already is. There is no wondering if he will be a good companion, he already is.
I’m not perfect so I can’t expect him to be…all I can ask is that he is willing to carry my baggage if I carry his….without resentment, without hesitation, but with compassion and love.