3/14/2012 The Past Year

The Hardest year of my life:

  • Smiles turned 1….that went by WAY to fast
  • Had my official role at work change (some people were laid off, some moved to another department, others stayed) – One of the most stressful things I’ve had to deal with thus far in life
  • Asked my husband for a divorce – broke his heart and mine (Such a horrible feeling, I can’t even describe)
  • Learned (still learning) how to let go of the dream of what we should have been and how to love someone but while distinguishing that type of love from true romantic love
  • Moved out of my home and in with my sister…and then my parents
  • Learned how to handle my emotions when I had to leave Smiles with his dad (shared custody)
  • Got a great opportunity to work with project managers and learn a new role
  • Finalized the divorce
  • Moved into a home that my parents helped me with – I can’t ever repay them for their kindness and generosity, I’m overwhelmed
  • Fell in love, true love, all-consuming love
  • Learned what it meant to be loved for who you are naturally
  • Found out my cousin (who is more like a best friend/brother) is getting divorced….HUGE surprise
  • Two of my best friends are pregnant…what wonderful mommas they will be (one already is, second baby)
  • Lost my opportunity to work in project management – I don’t think I’ll ever really understand what the real reason was…maybe I was bad at my job and didn’t realize it?
  • Learned it’s easier to let things go and let karma deal with it, than to hold a grudge and be angry
  • Started to reconsider my beliefs or really define them. I definitely know what I don’t believe…now what DO I believe?
  • Returned to my official position at work – learned a day later that my role will change again soon…more on that soon
  • (more to come…that was all in 6 months)

Music I listened to while writing:

O.A.R. – Black Rock (Live 2004)

The Tea Party – Winter Solstice

John Butler Trio – Take Me (Live)

Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here (Live)

Slackstring – Lend Me Your Love

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